One to One Coaching

I offer free 30 minute telephone/Skype consultations for people wanting to find out more about coaching on the 'baby decision'. Email me at mailto:beth@ticktockcoaching.co.uk and assistant Laura will respond and arrange an appointment with you. Visit http://www.ticktockcoaching.co.uk/ for more information about my coaching services.

Wednesday, 22 April 2015

Tuesday, 14 April 2015

Challenging assumptions - are you obligated to have children?

Here is a short blog post looking at the issue of the 'cultural obligation' around having children.  It's quite short but it has some excellent links to research into attitudes around having children and remaining childfree. 

http://m.pittnews.com/opinions/article_bb0cd566-dcbb-11e4-9025-6f11cb4df8b1.html?mode=jqm

Tuesday, 7 April 2015

Advice to a man who doesn't want kids but his girlfriend does

Good advice here!

What are the consquences of delaying the decision to have chidlren?

We are all so used to having more choices and being able to do so much more than previous generations did.   One thing that has remained unchanged is our biology - we simply can not get away from the fact that our fertitlity does decrease from 35 and then rapidly from 40.  Although IVF and technology can help, as this article points out, it's important to know the consquences of delaying the decision to have a child.  Of course, for those who are open to adoption, there are not the same time limitations

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/health-and-fitness/health-advisor/plan-to-delay-having-a-baby-make-sure-you-understand-the-consequences-before-its-too-late/article19080910/

Sunday, 5 April 2015

Millennials get to grips with the baby decision

So, as the 'Generation Y' gets older, they too are starting to grapple with the decision whether to have children or not.  As this article points out, they have seen the previous generation, generation X'ers worry about fertility and have learnt lessons from their experience.

'For now, research suggests that while those millennials value parenthood, even more than marriage – 74 per cent of them want to have children, according to American statistics from the Pew Research Center – their fertility rate is falling behind that of Gen X. About 36 per cent of women in the 18-to-29 age group had had children in 2010, compared with 41 per cent of Gen Xers of the same age in 1998.'

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/relationships/its-gen-ys-turn-to-face-the-baby-clock/article17478562/






Saturday, 4 April 2015

Friday, 20 March 2015

Men who want children more than their girlfriends or wives

Men, until recently, have not shown a huge amount of interest in exploring this baby decision and therefore, I have targeting my services at women who are exploring or are ambivalent about the baby decision.

In terms of dealing with the tricky issue of wanting a baby when your partner doesn't, if I do have a client is coming to me for help because they want a baby but their partner doesn't, they are women.

However, in the past few years, I seen a slight increase in the numbers of men approaching me for coaching help when they want a child but their partner doesn't

This seems to be a growing trend - as discussed in this article Men Want Babies and Women Want Freedom. 

The author makes a very salient point at the end of the piece,

'As long as the particulars of childcare and career and flexibility are a gamble for women more than men, more and more of us are going to opt out of this dance. The upside is that maybe then we will have the collective leverage to fix the system.'

Sunday, 15 March 2015

When is a good time to have a baby?

One of the questions that people have when they are thinking about having children or not is whether there is a'better' time to have a child - particularly if they have a very demanding career.  This article looks at the issue of how to plan for a baby. 

http://www.bustle.com/articles/69693-how-to-plan-for-a-baby-when-you-have-a-demanding-career-plus-how-companies-can

Tuesday, 10 March 2015

Having children over 45

Many more women are having children after 40.

I found this interesting article written by a woman who had her first child over 50. 

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/nov/09/having-first-baby-at-51

The article quotes IreneeDaly who studied women who had children later in life.

Social norms have changed, says Irenee Daly at the Centre for Family Research in Cambridge. "We don't expect women of typical university age to want to have children. We socialise them away from that. The 20s are now regarded as a time for exploration, before life's enduring responsibilities take hold." Young men and women still expect to have settled down in a stable relationship and own their own home before starting a family. "And since these things are all happening later, that pushes having children later."

For her doctoral thesis, Daly looked at whether women in their late 20s and early 30s understood the degree to which fertility declined with age and whether they thought that IVF could compensate for the effects of ageing. "There was a perception that it would work out in time. Most of the women I spoke to were shocked to learn that IVF is linked to age, that even in the youngest age group, we're talking about only a 30% success rate. Then they were doubly shocked to see that by 44 it goes down to 5% using one's own eggs."

Freezing eggs doesn't guarantee a viable pregnancy and, as Daly points out, "You have to freeze young eggs, so a woman of 40 saying that she's decided to freeze her eggs – well, what sort of quality are those eggs?"

Thursday, 5 March 2015

Are you ready to have children?


One of the issues that comes up for people coming to me who are unsure whether they want to have children or not is around whether there is a ‘right time’ to have children or not.

 
The pressure of the biological clock often means that people can feel pressured into having children before they feel ready.  Once you are in your mid-30’s, it can feel like you don’t have time enough to be in the ‘right’ place for having children. 

 
My approach is to take clients through their fears around not being ready enough and we question them together

 

  • Finance - How much finance do they think they need? Is that realistic? Could they manage on less?
  • Career - How could they manage the focus on their career and child-raising? What compromises could they and their partner make? What role models can they find in their industry who manage work and kids well? What strategies could they put into place?
  • Personal Freedom – What else would they like to do before they have children? How could they still ensure they have some freedom and the ability to have adventure even after they have children?

Wednesday, 4 March 2015